I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
