she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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