My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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