I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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