We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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