i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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