he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
