Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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