Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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