this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
