adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
