I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
