I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
