if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
