Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
