NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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