so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
