So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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