You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
