God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
