He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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