dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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