Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
