Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize