Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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