you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
