i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
