remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
