so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
