The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
