youre lurking in front of me
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
