Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
