I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
