i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
