hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
