Buhtt sex?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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