I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
