brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
