I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
