and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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