At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize