is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
