I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I checked into jail on foursquare
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
