I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
