There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
