ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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