is your mom at the bar?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
