it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
