Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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