video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
