Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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