Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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