he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
