who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you had me at cake vodka
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
