Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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