This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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