Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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