Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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