I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We don't watch enough power rangers
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.