He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
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I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.