whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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