Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize