so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
