you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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