i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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